things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
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