he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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