i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
