i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
