chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
can u get pink eye on your cock?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
