but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
