May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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