Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
