do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
