So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
