just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
