Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
