I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
