At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
