Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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