I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He kissed a someone with a penis
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
