I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
