You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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