I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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