We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
