what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
