When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just threw up on my dentist
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
