i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
