i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
