So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
