she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
