he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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