she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So much Jack, so little girl.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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