What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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