so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
