So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
