Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
only if we run a train.
done.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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