Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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