..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
