Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I will be naked everywhere
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So much rum. So many feels.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
