This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
