I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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