R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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