arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize
