I wish I could teleport
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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