Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
