nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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