I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
