I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
