i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
