I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
