I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
