I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Mom said you looked used
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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