Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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