Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm passing your future prison.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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