Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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