I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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