So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
