I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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