Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
