I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
