how can u be prego again
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
