Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm getting married
To pizza
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
