hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
