I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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