Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No subtext here. People are naked.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
